Tuesday 31 January 2012

Surprise! See You Soon/Never.

Have you ever tried planning a surprise party for your two best friends and managed to pull the whole thing off? It's probably one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. But tonight, I did it.

Don't get me wrong, it wasn't just tonight. It was two weeks of excessive planning, down to every last detail. Being independent, I refused to let anybody else help me (mistake # 1). I made a Facebook event, invited over 30 people to dinner, hounded them to respond almost twice a week to keep numbers up to date, made reservations, changed reservations, and made creative party favours. All while making sure that nobody spilled the beans. 



STRESSFUL, right?


When we got to the restaurant, there were three out of 25 people at the table, with only ten minutes till the guests of honour showed up. It made me really consider who I thought was a true friend, and I decided, that the people who I really admired and trusted were those that I knew would commit to something and pull through. University has really changed my views on friendship, and this last year has really made me aware of how many friendships I've loved and lost over these past four years. 


In first year, friendships were based around the people who loved to drink what you drank, around what bar they liked to go to, around awkward hookups and laughing about them the next day. I valued my friends for their stories, their adventures, their humour and all that they could entertain me with. I valued the people who caught my attention and that was the only reason. Friends were disposable except for the ones who always had a good story to tell the next morning. First year friendships were all for the hilarity.


Second year became a whole different ballgame... That year, we were all about housemates. People went to parties with their housemates, they took class with their housemates, you were identified as a housemate and your friendships were always the same as the friendships of your housemates. We, as a house, had the most incredible neighbours that year, seven guys who changed my life forever. They were the "boys" and they were graduated already and just taking an extra year. They taught us how to enjoy everything and not stress about the little things, as well as how to throw a VCR off a third floor story roof. They were also rockers, always introducing us to new bands and classic music, developing our interest in so many different kinds of music. Second year friends were those that taught you how to survive.


Third year was the year that I didn't want any more friends. I began to thrive on the little group we had created, and conflict was so consistent that it was overwhelming. Third year was the year where you decided who you wanted and didn't want to socialize with anymore. That was the year my housemates fell apart. (That, and we had rats in the walls).


And so here I am. Fourth year, trying to figure out what kind of friends this year develops. After tonight, I think I can finally say that fourth year friends are the ones who lasted since the beginning. They're the friends who consistently hold your hair back when you're sick, that yell at you when you're doing badly in a class, that laugh with you when you fall on your butt, but most importantly, they're the ones that will be there when they say they will. Good friends will always be there for your birthday, will come with you to things that don't interest them for support, and will make sure to walk you home no matter what. The surprise party taught me a lesson in who I can count on, and I hope that many others got the impression this year that I am someone to be counted on as well. 


Commitment. That's what fourth year friendship is to me. It's the commitment that we'll stay friends after this year, that we'll talk even when we're not in the same country, and we'll carry on as if nothing had changed even after years apart.

The surprise party went off without a hitch. Except that the birthday boy had been kidnapped before dinner and forced to drink excessive amounts of alcohol. Here's to you, birthday best friends, to an amazing 22nd year, and to many more surprise parties ahead. 
Cheers.

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