Rocking and Rolling

Imagine your life like a super smooth passenger train (I'm talking a super smooth train where you could put your Starbucks venti skinny vanilla latte on the table in front of you and it wouldn't spill at all). You're headed straight towards one direction, no glitches, bumps, or stops along the way. You have everything sorted out down to fuel amounts, speed limits, and interior design. Your friends are all on board with you, they want to get to that specific place as well. What happens when you suddenly realize you don't want to go there anymore? When you decide to take the other route? When you're broke, have no plans, and need to figure out your life in  less than four months.


Welcome to my life as a soon-to-be university graduate. 


At some point, everyone needs to "figure it out." But I suppose we should start right from the beginning. All my childhood, I wanted to be a ballerina. I made my parents pay for expensive private lessons, cried when I didn't get the solos, and once pushed a fellow dancer off the stage when she didn't follow instructions... You could see I was determined. Over the years I learned slowly that ballet wasn't going to be my life forever, in fact most ballerinas' careers end before they're 25. I created a backup plan: pretend to be smart and get into university.


Okay, maybe pretending isn't the exact thing... I graduated highschool with a 4.3 GPA and easily got into a prestigious university. That was when I got lost. Mentally, emotionally, physically (freshmen don't stand a chance against this one) lost. I liked a lot of subjects, but nothing stood out. Until I took PSYC100. It was a first year, thousand student enrollment type of class. Coming from an artistic background, I guess it seemed strange that I ended up in the neuropsychology side of the program. We studied everything from rats, to hippocampi, to aplysia and conditioning techniques. If you don't know what an aplysia is, ask for one for your birthday, it'll really surprise you that something can be so utterly disgusting and boring at the same time. Back on track. Three years passed by, I did volunteering in a research lab, found a thesis supervisor, got approved, then decided I hated science. 


You thought it was going to be more exciting. Like a revelation. Sorry to be a letdown. That goes out to you too, Mom. I'll figure out how to be the favourite child again soon. 


Tangential conversation. Look it up. I'm terrible at staying on track.


One time in the fifth grade, I had the stomach flu and my mom made me go to school. I hid it from my friends all day, and called her repeatedly to come bring me home. When she didn't listen to me and said I was making it up, I threw up all over the foyer from our second-floor balcony. That was another time when I lost the favourite child status. I won't tell you how I had to earn it back that time.


This time, I gave up on my academic future. I backed out of my thesis, resigned from graduate school applications, and joined a rockband... okay maybe two out of three. I once did lighting for a cover rock band for 20 dollars. That's another fun story.


So here I am. Clueless on how to get a job, build a career, and be a grownup. This is the story of my last semester of university, learning to be legitimate and walk on ice without falling.

This is the guide to everything not to do as you learn to graduate, and stop undergraduating.